It's hard to write a blog when you have nothing to say.

True Fact: Writing a blog requires writing.

It should also require creativity and interesting topics.

Currently I have neither.

When I was a young girl growing up in the middle of nowhere New York I dreamed of things that seemed out of my reach. I wrote poems about loneliness and gruesome death. (I was very into Anne Rice) Through college all I did was write. Short stories, poems, a notebook full of things that were currently bothering me. I wrote more than I studied, my grades would reflect that.

As I reached 30 I ran out of ideas. I ran out of the ability to think. Now I sit at a desk, fearing how boring the next meeting I am forced to attend will be. I think of ways of harming my mortal enemy which never really would work out. I think of harming myself just to get out of here. Mostly I can't think at all. It's as if all intelligence has left my brain and all I have is mush to replace it.

You can't write a blog based on mush. At least not the blog I was intending to write.

I was going to write a blog about being 30. I still might continue to, only I have nothing to say about the topic. Everyday is the same. 30 is the same as every year before it.

Feeling good is only a theory until you buy into it. Like religion or sex. It seems lately I am out of money.

Out of ideas and not ragin' it,

Melissa